In 2009 I took a year long Yoga Teacher Training Course. I broke down and broke open. My life started unraveling. At the end of the course, the teacher, who was super intuitive, gave each of us a single-color beaded bracelet with a silver “Namaste” charm looped into it. What she said and did held meaning. She reviewed the chakras in class – root as red, then up the rainbow as you climbed up the body – orange, yellow, green, turquoise, indigo, violet/white. Everyone in the teacher training program got a bracelet that was one of those colors – one of the chakra colors – except for me.
I got pink. What the hell? I analyzed. I agonized. I knew it must mean something…but what? I sent her an email and asked – no response….ever. I would never know. I would only know I was different….was pink weaker than red, less than because it wasn’t in the rainbow – what in the Sam Hill made me pink?
Fast forward 7 months to India. I was learning Reiki and Color Healing from a holistic doctor named Dr. Usha. Love that woman! When we got to the heart, she differentiated between the high heart (green) and the low heart (pink).
Green is unconditional love and pink is conditional.
hmmm. . . ok, so my yoga teacher basically implied that I love conditionally! Funny thing, my best friend at the time told me the same thing, that I love conditionally.
What the hell? Really? No way. I’m an unconditional lover of things I told myself. I AM UNCONDITIONAL! I yelled at myself.
But then I took a breath.
And I got honest and gritty.
I’m a conditional lover of things and people.
Aren’t we all? Really, it’s as if there is some design flaw in the human system that doesn’t allow us to simply love (or sometimes BE LOVED) unconditionally.
I sat and sobbed when I realized that neither my mom nor my Dad loves me unconditionally either. Because they can’t, weren’t able to when I was born, and maybe aren’t even always able to now – not because they do not love me but, let’s face it – as children, what do we do but highlight where and when our parents screw up? We don’t mean to, but we do. Kids do that. And as parents, we love them (conditionally) – as they love us. Our children love us because we feed them, and buy them things, and teach them how to read, and have fun with them. It’s conditional love and yet we teach them that’s what unconditional love is because we don’t EVEN know what unconditional love truly is as most of us haven’t experienced it.
Trust me, the moment my child told me that the math DVDs I bought him to help him learn his times tables were dorky and that he hated the dinner it took me an hour to cook, I fell right out of love with him. Maybe for a second. But just long enough. When we leave love, even for a fraction of a second, it’s no longer unconditional. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing. It’s a human thing.
An unconditional (green) love is a love that never sways, never wavers, never doubts, never angers…..it’s a Divine love. And while we have the Divine within us, we’re HUMAN. And so we love like humans. As hard and as much and as strong as we can…as humans.
We love with the physical being, the very matter of our bodies (which is red) – and we mix that red with the Divine light that shines down making our physical matter capable of love (white). We are a mix of the physical and the spiritual. So when we’re love, we’re pink.
Pink is the mixture of the Earth and Heavens. It’s Heart. It’s Healing. It’s learning to be a vessel to contain the unconditional love that shines through us in beautiful bursts. We can’t possibly manifest unconditional love on our own because it’s FAR TOO BIG to be contained in a tiny human body. We are all low hearts on this Earth learning to carry a high heart vibration…and learning that we deserve to receive that high heart vibration in return. We are all pink. And pink is love.