This morning I woke up feeling insecure in my relationship. It was one of those inexplicable feelings that could stem from a bad dream you don’t remember or from your unconscious being a degenerate. You know what I’m talking about? You just wake up and feel “off” for no reason, but it’s real and you can’t ignore it. Actually, you can. But you shouldn’t.
Anyway, I felt this deep insecurity about my relationship, and I could feel my defenses hardening and my shell of protection closing in around me, cutting me off from my main man, Mark.
Mark got up to get ready for work. Normal day for him. I lay in bed – normal for me. I like to wake up, lay in bed to meditate and make wishes for my day before I rise to seize it (and by seize the day I mean make my tea and walk the dog). But today, I lay there like normal, and yet it was different. I could feel myself feeling unlovable and unreachable.
I decided to set myself a clear intention in that moment. I literally did nothing except think – soften your energy, soften your energy, soften your energy – over and over to myself. I’m a feeler, so I tried to feel the energy of me and around me soften like a fuzzy pink blanket. I imagined it and felt into it.
I didn’t move. I didn’t speak. Nothing to give myself away.
As soon as I softened, Mark looked over to me and asked, “Are you okay?”
You see, soft energy invites in love and caring, warmth and conversation.
I had a choice here – to be honest and vulnerable or to let the fear and insecurity win and say, “I’m fine.”
Vulnerability and I are getting acquainted these days, so I embraced her openness.
“I don’t think so,” I answered. “It makes no sense, but I’m feeling insecure about our relationship.”
Mark and I often talk about how our feelings don’t have to make sense, but we agree to share them with each other anyway. So I shared, risking feeling needy or whiney or high maintenance and being rejected. I shared anyway.
He crawled back on the bed and snuggled up to me, putting his head against my neck and cheek. “You’re so soft,” he said.
“What?” I could hardly believe it!
“You’re just so soft,” he said again.
Wow! Seriously! He used the exact word from the energetic intention I had just set for myself. Subconsciously, he could feel it. He may have assigned it to my skin, or my smell, or my hair, or whatever else, but he was FEELING MY ENERGY – my energy that was just set by my mindful intention!
It’s all about intention baby. Setting a clear intention and fully embracing it allowed my partner to step forward and comfort me, as well as allowing myself to feel more lovable.
Set yours and see how people respond to you!
I’d love to know what intentions you set as well, what sort of world we’re creating together.
Post in the comments and share!