The other day I heard someone say that, in relationships, we are always attracted to a person with whom we’re incompatible. “Oh no,” I thought, “That can’t be true.” I pondered over my own relationship: he’s a mountain man, I’m a beach girl: he loves the comfort of home, I love to travel to far-away places: he loves dark, leather furniture, I love white upholstered furniture. Oh dear….I had to think about this one. Maybe this person was right. Was my relationship doomed? I put some thought into this one…surely this statement was made by someone who was cynical about love.
But no…I actually think there is merit to this. A lot of merit. As humans, we crave to experience as much of this world as possible. Whether we are conscious of it or not, our Spirits are constantly seeking to expand. Romantic relationships offer a lot of expansion – if we choose to embrace the experience. It made me think of magnets; magnets with like ends will repel each other while magnets with an opposite charge will be pulled toward each other. And after all, what are we but beings with huge, electromagnetic fields? Guess what organ in the body emits the strongest electromagnetic field? The heart! In fact, according to studies conducted by HeartMath, the heart is 60 times greater in amplitude than the brain and 5000 times stronger! What does this mean? Our heart sends our brain more information than our brain sends our heart. So, our attraction to a potential partner may very well be subconscious. And designed for our soul’s growth.
If we love the beach, we may end up with a partner who loves the mountains. If we love to travel the world, we may choose to be with a person who is most comfortable at home. If we enjoy bland and predictable food, we may end up with a foodie who loves spicy dishes. In this way, we get to expand our horizons, to explore more of this human existence.
Now, the trouble with incompatibility is that it creates a ton of energy, and the most beautiful part of incompatibility is that it creates a ton of energy. Yes, you read that right! The energy created can be used negatively or positively. It all comes down to choice. Your choice.
In a relationship, there is bound to be a time when our incompatibilities will create a surge of energy – a surge of energy that we can then choose to channel into creativity or competition. And what is one of the most powerful energies that exists? Yup. Creativity. After all, isn’t that how all of us came into existence – the creativity that happened between two opposite poles, between the yin and yang energies of our mother and father? When we hit an experience that highlights our relationship incompatibilities, we are being offered a brilliant opportunity to use our creativity, to find alternate solutions and pleasing compromises. Or, we can choose to be competitive and combative and ignore this opportunity for growth.
But, growth is good. Growth is healthy. So, the next time you find yourself suffering due to incompatibilities in your relationship, choose instead to recognize that this is a sign from your Spirit that you are in the right place, at the right time, with the right person. And all you have to do is choose to be creative, open, and ready for growth.